Overbay Traded to Toronto!
Four Stories from the Ballpark
Nate Roth
As summer rolls by and another baseball season turns into its waning moments, the little baseball moments pass by with nary a notice (unless you test the netting behind homeplate by jumping from the second deck). Here are four moments from Brewers/Giants game of July 28th that could happen at any unsuspecting fan.
The Tailgate
As I walked into Halfaer Field two and a half hours before gametime to support the annual Brewers Wives Tailgate to benefit the Sojourner Truth House, the wives were huddled around together with their fashionable clothes and workman’s belts stocked with raffle tickets and change. Standing eagerly at the door, they cornered the loose pocketed philanthropists hoping to sell that one extra ticket for a chance at an iPod.
The wives, of whom nearly half were pregnant, are different species than you or I. Their beautiful smiles lit up the room and seemed a full two times more attractive than the best citizen Milwaukee could produce. Usually sticking to their petite selves, they nonetheless overcame their attractiveness to raise a lot of money.
The Heckling
As we reached our seats in the loge in left field right before game time, a gaggle of hecklers stood up to mock the opposing teams players using a variety of terms, but, surprisingly, nothing too vulgar for these seasoned ears. Some of the surrounding families, however, did not appreciate the calls and summoned an octogenarian usher.
The hecklers, who looked like they tumbled out of a slum in Stallis were chastised about their words and were told to keep it down. From that point on, we heard chants of “I don’t like you very much at all, Alou!” and “You are very, very bad.” PC strikes again.
The Vomitorium
Everybody loves to gorge themselves at the ballpark, and children are no different. A group of little leaguers took up the seats across the aisle from us, proudly wearing their red shirts featuring a local carpet cleaner’s logo, and generally chatting away about their favorite players and not paying particular attention to anything for more than a second.
One boy had a little too much fun, however, as he projectile vomited across two rows, quickly evacuating the immediate area within barf shot. The poor kid was mortified as he tried to run to an adjacent rest room, but his haste left a trail of throw up on the concourse. How life altering this must have been, I did not see him again … and to add more insult, he threw up on his free bag of stuff.
Eventually the cleaning crew came in and spread their magic sawdust over it to clean it up, but not after a few people had trailed through it and it effectively jettisoned any kind of fun within a ten foot radius of the incident.
The Underwear
Late in the game, one older guy, possibly under the effects of alcohol, decided to whip up the left field bleacher crowd by stripping to his tighty whities to lead the cheers. Security was having none of it, though, and even though the man and the section were having the time of their lives in a depressing game for the home team, the long arm of the law put an end to it.
The man was cheered as he was lead away by security, and when he tried to reciprocate the admiration by lifting his arm, as if to grab the adoring cheers from out of the air, but the security person twisted his arm behind his back like any common felon resisting arrest. He was not to return, but his memory lives.
You never can tell what you’re going to get out of a ballpark experience, but I was happy to have a little of everything this one night, not to mention the company of friends. Unfortunately, the only thing missing was a Brewers victory.